Spiritual Reflections: Living the Holy Way through Lent 2024

Spring

As Spring comes in, May we feel refreshed and renewed. As each bud bursts into bloom May we feel new life flooding our being As the light shines through the petals, Making their beauty ever more radiant So too may Christ’s Light resonate within us And reveal our true beauty. Amen 

Ash Wednesday

 May we be guided through Lent by Christ’s bright Light. May blessings touch our days. May we find healing and hope as we progress towards Easter. Amen 

Lettuces in Lent

 In repurposed, plastic mushroom containers, yesterday we sowed lettuce seed; the early sowings are always the best. Come Spring a seemingly endless supply of tender, organic salad, with luck, should be coming our way.

In our context, one of extreme suffering and limitation, the well practised ritual of seed sowing, of hands in the earth, of blessing the seeds as they fall onto the compost, is desperately needed.

Ever since we both had Covid in November the garden has been a barren, sad, neglected, untidy space; piles of twigs from winter pruning, dry husks of last year’s plants that we preserve as a home for insects during the cold months, cheerless, patchy, muddy lawn, benches empty, unsat on, in need of a coat of paint.

And pouring, like tears, through every nook and cranny, the much missed presence of our beloved Corgi, who lies buried, this last 18 months, under the golden yellow Mahonia bush, that, even here in February, is buzzing with bees.

Over there, by the shed, where my wife stumbled and fell, he once rushed over, licking her face and nudging her up. A breathtakingly beautiful act of wisdom and love. Round this corner he came once, dragging himself on his stomach, because he could no longer walk, surprising us with an enormous grin.

On his last day, stoic and accepting to the end, he paused to sniff the air and gaze at the butterflies.

“Why don’t you just get another dog?” some asked. They have no idea.

Nothing here is simple or straightforward. The tiniest thing, like me passing by my wife in the wrong way, or suddenly coughing, can have tragic consequences, triggering deterioration, muscle spasms and paralysis. Ahead lies a daunting operation.

I confess, I just don’t know how we are going to deal with what we have to deal with this year.

Sometimes all you can do is sow lettuces and hope.

This is when we reach out to God and He blesses us with his light and His strength. So much needed during the often struggling dsys of Lent.

When the day is hard

Lord lift our vision higher.

May we feel your love surrounding us,

Pouring in to us.

Help us always to feel safe

Knowing that we are held in your tender heart.

Amen

Lord, when the way ahead seems hard.

Shine brightly for us so that we can see clearly what to do. Lead us ever forward, gently, kindly, one step at a time. Amen

TO KEEP GOING

As I write, at the breakfast table, Dvorak’s “Largo”, the second movement from the “New World Symphony” softly plays, evoking memories of us two, up on the altar signing our wedding certificate.

On our wedding day, the music filled the Church, could there be a more triumphant marking of that moment?

I first heard it in an old country house in County Cork, Ireland. On that day, in the late 70’s, my mind was blown. Like no other, that piece touches my soul.

I resolve this morning to write a symphony based on our garden, where we have sat for years and years on a bench. I have so much music waiting to be expressed, notes tumbling round my mind.

It’s crazy dreams like this that keep me going!

I sat out there yesterday afternoon by myself, watching tiny blue birds flittering about on a beautiful day. Linda in bed, too ill to move, in an agony beyond description. Later, she told me they must have been Blue Tits.

Our old wooden planter had collapsed in a mess. I was pleased that I had just managed to salvage its rotten timbers and restore it to what looks to me, anyway, like an exciting prospect for growing vegetables. Quite an achievement, given my lack of DIY skills. I had a look at it this morning, it is still standing and I am proud of myself. I look forward to showing it off to Linda. I will take a photograph of it for her to see.

Little achievements like this are so important. They give me a sense of purpose, of taking back control after being so unwell-last year, of confidence in myself. They, along with all my mad dreams and schemes, get me through.

That and looking up at the birds.

Always look up.

Prayer For Hope

Lord be close to us
Especially when we struggle.
Help us to look up and see your radiant face before us,
Smiling, loving, tender, caring.
Fill us with new hope that somehow all will be well
And we will be safe
Held in your loving heart.
Amen

What It Takes

This getting older….

I could barely walk after cycling yesterday, my right leg seemed to be in permanent cramp all day. It made for an uncomfortable night.

However it’s okay, I think so anyway, this morning.

Thank God. For the impact upon us, me not able to easily do what I normally do, was quite devastating. We tread a very fine line here.

Little do people know what it takes.

Sometimes I watch those videos that urban climbers post on YouTube of themselves scaling up the side of skyscrapers, hanging only by their fingers and toes, hundreds of feet high, on flimsy looking window frames.

It’s even worse when they release one hand to make a phone call, or remove a shirt.

There’s a polish climber, Marcin Banot, who talks you through his process as he climbs for charity, in particular, the courage, the focus, the discipline and the terrific attention to breathing required.

Well, my hopes of ever doing that are far behind me now, as yesterday shows. In any case, Linda would be horrified. However it strikes me how perfect is the analogy.

Perilously hanging, without support, over a vast drop, is exactly the terrifying situation we are in, living in the context of severe, little understood illness. The danger of falling is ever present and massive. There is no rest, no relent ever. The pressure is intense. The courage and the effort to hold on, particularly for Linda, is way beyond comprehension, no one could possibly imagine just what it takes for her to cope, every moment of every day and still keep any shred of herself going.

Without discipline, without constant focus, without an immensely strong set of values, we would fall off the precipice into an unending pit of despair, hopelessness and unimaginable pain.

We totally rely on each other to stay safe. As I wrote here yesterday, you must keep looking up.

For that is where hope and new possibility lie. And that is when God can bless us abundantly and banish fears.

Without unbelievable courage we would freeze and not keep trying to climb, inch by tortuous inch, ever higher above the suffering. And we have climbed very high indeed this last three decades.

Courage is so desperately needed in the world right now. Both of us are immensely humbled by this mornings salute and the courage of Alexei Navalny. May he inspire us all.

Resilience

Holding on to something good and clawing your way towards it. That’s how Linda described resilience yesterday, struggling in bed, in immense agony, when I asked her.

She spoke about the destruction of illness….but still building a life for yourself. I wish I could remember all she said.

I did make a note of this though:

“Seek in yourself until you find it, you can’t just pull yourself together. You have to find your own innate well spring of goodness, love, something that will keep you going against all the odds.”

I write this because that much loved, ancient symbol of resilience, the daffodil, is flowering, right now in our garden. I am a hungry man, all this harrowing winter I have been longing for its appearance.

I wonder how others would describe “resilience “ in the face of long term, chronic, severe illness and disability?

Surely not in terms of “well, pull yourself together, change your thoughts and just get on with it, won’t you?”, which is probably how the rest of the world, who don’t want to know, sees it.

Be Our Light

Lord, be our light
When gloom seems to gather around us.
Banish all fear
When intractable problems arise
Fill us with hope
That there is a safe way forward
Be our guide
When our path falter
Lift us into the Heart of Love
Where we are held safely in the Love of the Trinity
Amen

A Prayer For Healing

Lord in your mercy
Tenderly heal me.
Lord fill me with your holy peace
Not of this world.
Lord bless me
With your healing presence.
Restore me now to full health.
Lord strengthen me
With the Power of Your Spirit.
Ease the burdens that I carry.
Lord comfort me
With Your Tender heart.
Release me from all pain.
Lord console me
With the truth of Your love.
May all mercy be received.

Then You Know

There is a story my favourite author Richard Rhor tells, it brings me joy, for how I see myself in it.

It’s about a young boy who asks an old man how to love God.

Learn to love a stone, the old man says. Just hold it in wonder, see it, feel it.

Then a flower, “let its beauty come into you.”

The same with the mountains, the sky, the stars be present to them. See them in all their forms.

Then try to really love, give yourself to, be present to, be faithful to another person.

When you have loved the rocks, the flowers, the mountains, the sky and loved another, then you will be ready to love God, the old man said.

Yes, I have been a gardener all my life, I used to lie on the roof looking up the stars, I have slept out under them, in Africa.

The keyword, to me, in this story is “ready”.

Ready to be broken open, ready to know great loss, ready to grieve, ready to cry, ready to open your heart.

When there is nothing left to hold onto, then you know that love truly begins.

When The Day Is Hard

When the day is hard
Lord lift our vision higher.
May we feel your love surrounding us,
Pouring in to us.
Help us always to feel safe
Knowing that we are held in your tender heart.
Amen

Bless Every Moment

Lord bless each moment of every day
Help us feel safe
No matter what comes our way
Help us build trust that you are near
And will always come to our aid.
Amen

Restore

When I lose my peace
And get lost in hurt, anger, distress,
Lord, guide me to a place
Where grace can fill me once again
And restore calm and balance to me.
Amen

Forgive, a Prayer

Lord, forgive us when we get things wrong.
Help us to say that we are sorry.
Strengthen us in our resolve to always seek the light,
To speak and act with kindness, fairness, compassion to the fore,
Rather than anger, hurt and fear.
Bless each hurt we carry that keeps us stuck in painful moments
And renew us
with your Peace.
Amen

Give Us A Clear Vision

Lord, when the way ahead is not clearcut,
And time is pressing,
Give us a clear vision to hold on to.
Help us know that you will remain close
And keep us safe
When fear mounts a believable campaign against us.
Let your light shine brighter still
And lead us safely on.
Amen

Oh Spirit Of Comfort

Grow in me
Touch the hurting places not yet reached
Oh Spirit of comfort
Strengthen me
Console me in my deepest griefs
Oh Spirit of comfort
Entwine with me
And lift me above the tumult of enduring pain
Oh Spirit of comfort
Ease my hurt
Heal all that is suffering within me
Oh Spirit of comfort
Bless me anew each day
And help me reach out to others
That they too may feel your comfort
And be saved
Amen

I do not abandon anyone who calls my name.

Open your hearts to feel my presence with you,
No matter how hard your path.
I come to your call.
Open your ears to hear My Word
Open your eyes to see with Spirit.
I am the One who loves
In spite of all the pain.
I am He
And I am here.

A Prayer For Truth.

Dear Lord,
Help me increase in truth
For not let fear overwhelm me
Or batter me into submission.
Help me always see the true path
Lit by love
Held tenderly in the Heart Of Love
Where all is whole and complete
And love abounds in plenty.
Amen

A Prayer When Feeling Lost

When I have lost touch with all that I am
And a tiny voice inside me cries out in fear,
Lord love me more
Help me more
Bless me more
Till I can feel your love surrounding me
To help me find myself again.
Amen

Help Us To Know

Lord, help us to know
Which is the right way
The true way
The radiant way
Filled with your Light
And the hope of new possibility
And a sure direction
Led by You.
Amen

Be Still

When all around is chaos
And the way ahead unclear
Take time to breathe
And think
Be still and listen
You will feel God near,
Amen

Please Help Me

Lord please help me
As fear batters away
And diminishes me.
Help me feel strong
And safe
Held in the Heart of Love
Where miracles abound
And Hope resides in plenty.
Amen